It’s OK to not be OK
Dear readers, I owe you a big apology.
For the past few weeks, I have left these pages untended. My garden of ideas grew a little wild, and, I must admit, I fell into a dark place from which I have had a hard time escaping.
For that I’m very sorry.
I shouldn’t have to be, you’re probably saying to yourself.
Oh, but I am, for more reasons than you might even consider. I’ve had a number of changes go on in my life and in my body the past few weeks, and depression, an old enemy I’ve fought off and on for years, reared its ugly head. At the same time, I was grieving for a loved one and couldn’t possibly understand what that pain was doing to my psyche. At the same time, the time demands of the holidays and the increased stress that goes along with it very nearly broke me, dear friends. I cannot lie about that. The time demands, the financial considerations and the stress I put on myself to be the perfect father nearly resulted in tragedy.
I should not lie about that.
And finally, I will not lie about it.
Depression hits us all at certain points of our lives and we must fight it on our own terms. I sought out help and got some, and I’m starting to emerge from the fog of self-loathing and pain that has enveloped me in the past few months. I’m identifying toxic people in my life who I’m trying to excise out and have redoubled my bodybuilding efforts.
Let the record show my training hasn’t suffered. No matter how low I felt – and some days, getting out of bed was a physical challenge in and of itself – I persisted in my training, knowing it was the one thing that was doing anything at all for my self-esteem. I fought back and hid tears, sometimes fruitlessly.
But I take my responsibilities seriously, so I’m back and I’m here to inspire your butts to get off of them.
The whole time I was away from my computer, I was in the weight room. I’ve been able to add volume and load to my legs days as I recover from quadriceps surgery, definition in my intercostal muscles, and the absolute most important development in my quest to lean out to a bodybuilder’s physique: I fit into a medium-size t-shirt.
It’s definitely the first time in my lifetime I fit into an adult male T-shirt. I’m pretty sure that I skipped right past the M size on my way to the galaxy of XL and XXL.
So, dear readers…I’m back and I’m not going anywhere for the time being.
Aren’t you lucky!
Keep checking back this week…I’ve got some good stuff coming down the pike with a look at Lakeshore peewee AAA head coach Trevor Lovig’s swiss-army-knife offence in the 2019 season, a look at what, exactly, a bodybuilding workout entails, the kinds of supplements I’m taking on the daily to get ready for this thing and a great way to work out at home, even if you don’t have the equipment I have access to.