These are the cold days that try our souls
Some days are amazing; some days you get up and everything goes well. It can be a full day with lots going on but when it goes well, it’s a wondrous place to love. I had two days in a row like that – amazing, full days where I felt great and everything went smoothly.
Today was a little different, If I’m being honest and since this is the season of healing honesty is paramount. My therapist said I have nothing to be ashamed of and that a lot of people suffer in silence whereas I am compelled to share by deepest, darkest secrets with you.
If someone out there realizes there are others like them and that they are not alone, my fervent hope is that they are able to see what value they have in the world.
If there is someone out there who is also healing and needs a little bit of validation, understand that you are heard, you are loved and you matter.
But I got up this morning feeling a little unsettled and a little anxious. Possibly the -28C cold outside was one factor, but often it is the fear of the unknown that spurs these things and I still have a lot of stuff I don’t know and don’t understand rattling around inside me.
But on days like these, my therapist has given me some valuable advice and coping mechanisms – CBT (which we explored earlier this week) and I’m able to shake off the blahs with music, movement and people.
I LOVE PEOPLE -- for the most part. I love working with them and I love engaging with them. It’s where my passion lies.
And I know that sharing these fears and hard days with you, dear readers, I know that I am also not alone in the world.
That’s worth its weight in gold.
In addition, some small disappointments crept in – a trip I had been looking forward to had to be delayed for reasons that are not unusual, but which removed something I had been looking forward to at the end of the month.
But! In this season of healing, delay isn’t so bad. The universe speaks to us in mysterious ways and I’m confident my desire to look forward to stuff will once more be sated – plus a trip to see a Blue Jays game this summer in Toronto that I also booked this week will cushion that blow.
In short, on brutally cold days where things don’t go exactly your way, what do you do?
The answer for me is music, movement and people.
So, I threw on my headphones, sang as loud as I could and with all my heart before I arrived at the gym. Then, I finished a great workout and now I’m on my way to a big meeting.
It’s all very exciting.
And that, my friends, is how you beat back the winter blues.
Today represents the fifth straight workout where I’ve focused on my lower body and my core. It’s valuable and needed, but man, do I want to lift heavy with my upper body.
Here’s the problem -- and there is no way around this problem. My shoulder still hurts and it sucks.
But man, oh, man am I getting stronger in my lower body. Throughout the fall, my weight gain and my surgically-repaired right quadriceps muscle ganged up on me to keep me from wanting to go up and down the stairs.
Whole different world. My legs and my mobility are so vastly improved by the combination of lower-body training and my weight loss I can’t even believe it.
But the fact remains that movement is medicine, so I’m going to try some gentle mobility exercises on my shoulder tomorrow.
I know it's going to be OK, though. Becsuse I have love in my life and that makes me stronger than anything.